A Lesson on Love Languages

Photo via  nappy.co

Photo via nappy.co

“Thank her

In her language.

(not from the comfort of your own)”

- Dr. Crystal Jones

In the past, I never stopped to think about what I was looking to receive from my relationships. But the nagging feeling that something was missing rarely left me. For a while, I confused my unfulfillment with being needy and I let the men and the friends in my life make me feel as though I was asking for too much from them.

After constantly arguing with then boyfriends about why they failed over and over again to meet the bare minimum, I gave myself time to think about what it was that they weren't doing. I had no clear answer. I knew I wanted more from these relationships but I wasn't sure of how I would voice that to a partner. Eventually, I began to identify what it was I needed to feel fulfilled, and my love language was then created.

Whether it be a friendship, relationship, or kinship we all want to receive love, affection support, and comfort in specific ways and when the people in our lives fall short of our expectations we yearn for better.

I’m a firm believer in not only understanding your significant others or friends love languages but also learning them and fulfilling them whenever the opportunity arises. Giving someone affection in a way that they don't recognize as affection, will never allow them to feel validated. Most of the time we try to love each other in familiar ways, giving the type of love we like to receive. But I’ve learned that sitting from the comfort of your love will never help you to better understand others.

Love languages aren’t spoken as simple words, but more through the I love you’s, I need you’s and I want you’s. The way your body feels so right cuddled up next to mine, while we sleep. When I ask you to show up for me and you do, ready to fight all of my battles.

Learn your love language, learn what it is that you want, what you can't live without, what you refuse to go without, but also pay attention to the people you love and make sure that while you demand that your love language is fulfilled you’re also fulfilling others.

What is your love language, and how is it spoken?